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Main Page » Self Healing » Fear Management Programs
 

How Imagination Freed A Boy From Bullying

 

Ben Cooper, the son of a poor immigrant tailor, lived in a disheveled neighborhood in St. Joseph, Missouri. The family was so poor that they could not eat everyday.

They lived in a small home...and Ben was assigned the task of heating it. He would pick up pieces of coal near the railroad tracks, collecting them in a coal scuttle. This task embarrassed him and he used the back streets to avoid meeting children from his school.

What made the task particularly unpleasant was a group of boys who delighted in ambushing him. These three boys would wait until he had filled his coal scuttle before pouncing on him, beating him up, and scattering his coal all over the street.

They laughed as they watched him run home crying.

Ben lived in a constant state of dread.

Then, one day, Ben came across a book that changed his life.

The book was Robert Coverdale's Struggle by Horartio Alger. Ben identified with the young hero, a boy about his own age, who faced great odds. But, unlike Ben, the young hero faced his tormentors with unflinching courage.

Sitting in his shabby kitchen, Ben slowly read every one of Horatio Alger's books. He forgot about his own cold and hunger. His mind was elsewhere: immersed in tales of courage.

As the winter wore on, he fed his soul and warmed his heart with these stories. Something began to change inside him. He began to feel bigger, more substantial. He began to feel within himself the birthing of a hero.

One day, between readings, on his way back from his coal-gathering trip, he spied three figures slinking behind a soot-stained wall. Usually, he would have turned on his heels and fled to the safety of his home, but today there was something else alive inside of him, something bigger, more substantial.

He continued walking toward the wall. Unconsciously, his grip tightened around the cold steel handle of his coal scuttle. He braced himself. His scuttle was already flying before they pounced. It hit the leader of the pack right on the forehead. He went down like a large sack of cement.

Alarmed at this unexpected aggression, the other two boys turned and fled. Ben gathered up a few chunks of coal and threw it at them. He chased after them, but they were bigger and faster than he was and made a clean escape.

Returning back to his coal scuttle, Ben found the leader sitting up, a dazed look in his eyes, an enormous welt over his eyebrows. Ben raised his right arm threateningly - and, to his surprise, the boy jumped to his feet and began to run.

A big chunk of coal bounced off the back of the fleeing boy's head.

The Success Principle

Ben Cooper was raised in a slum and his dire poverty reinforced his feelings of low self-worth. Although he would come home beaten and crying and without coal, his family did not support Ben in his terrifying predicament.

Ben was alone in a harsh world.

He found solace in a virtual reality, the fictional world of Horatio Alger. Immersed in this world, he absorbed it into his thoughts and feelings. Fictional heroes inspired him to discover his own grit and determination, his own courage in the face of adversity. In time, they transformed him from servility to indignation.

His new attitude pushed him to act out his fantasies. In real life, he developed a source of personal power. He was no bigger, no stronger than before, but his complete absence of fear, his sudden transformation terrified his bullies.

In your own life, you can similarly choose to be nurtured by identifying with someone who has succeeded. By relating to someone, whether through reading about them or actually associating with them, you can stop relating to your own ingrained negative attitudes.

While your bullies may not be physical, like Ben's, but more subtle, like fear and self-doubt, by assuming an image that inspires you, by pretending to be someone bigger and stronger, someone more capable, you can overcome your own particular demons.

Assume an image of power and act out your fantasy. When it is acted out in the real world, it assumes a life-force of its own which will pull you into a positive future. Your whole personality will be transformed by the experience of changing a wish into an event.

The Bottom Line

The only way past fear is through it. Fear is a wall that holds you back. It stymies your personal power. Fear is a source of torment, a bully who will beat you down until you face it and fight back.

Author: Saleem Rana
 
Author Bio:

Saleem Rana

Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University, Thousand Oaks, Ca., 15 years ago and now resides in Denver, Colorado. His articles on the internet have inspired over a hundred thousand people from around the world. His website features numerous books, courses, and software products to encourage peak performance.

This article can be searched using: anxiety management, overcoming fear, overcoming fear of intimacy, anxiety management techniques
 
 
 

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