Lets face it. Weddings are highly emotional, high-stake, super-sensitive, family-oriented gatherings. I know that surely two days into your planning, you have discovered that. Unfortunately, the unscrupulous are privy to this information as well. What does that mean for you and me?

Together, we have to sort through the shady vendors and clauses and come out unscathed for your beautiful wedding. But lets say you dont have the assistance of a wedding consultant (gasp!). Here are some sure fire indicators that you can be had, and how to avoid them.

You beg or whine.

Sounds ridiculous, but its true! Weve seen them on Bridezillas and other reality shows. The brides that lose all sense of sanity, decorum and tact. You may as well have a red dot on your head. Begging and whining may have worked with your parents, and may even win an argument with the future husband, but this is business. This only makes you appear desperate for anything. You say (subconsciously) that you will pay any price, go to any length, and exhibit any behaviour necessary to get what you want. While it is okay to feel this way, do your best not to show it. If your reception site isnt available on the day you want, either change your date or venue. If your florist has strict policies against using certain pieces in his arrangements, find a new florist or compromise on new arrangements.

You move too fast.

We all know the saying, Good things come to those who wait. If a vendor says to you, This is a popular date or month, more likely than not, they are telling you the truth. However, resist the temptation to sign a contract immediately to secure your dream site or band. Unless you have done your research, are knowledgeable on comparable pricing or are satisfied with the level of service you will receive, think it over. If you show an immediate blind rush, you say, The mere thought of a threat to my dream wedding day sends me into a frenzy. Instead, talk it out with your fianc, mother or wedding planner. Do you get a good and secure feeling when dealing with the vendor? Can you see yourself being satisfied with their service or product? If so, sign on! If not, ignore the pushy sales tactics and ask other questions until you can make a sound decision.

You dont read.

Remember the national literacy campaign ad stating Reading is fundamental? Its not only fundamental in this business, it is mandatory. Contracts are staples in this industry in place to protect you and the vendor. It in essence says, Im going to do what I say Im going to do, and you are going to do what you say you are going to do. You are bound to the contract just as much as the vendor. If you do not understand or agree with something, speak up before you sign! Payment schedules, services, overtime fees, cancellation/ refund policies should be spelled out and explained to you prior to your endorsement. You risk breaching your contract, losing money and a service if you do not adhere. It is too late to ask questions or refuse to pay after the contract has been finalized. Moreover, pay attention to all of the clauses. Do they sound fair? Does your contract have an escalation clause? Some vendors, mainly reception sites, have clauses that say if you book your event far ahead that you agree to pay their future prices instead of the prices available at the signing of the contract. How do they obtain these figures? Most vendors consult the CPI, Consumers Price Index, to see what inflation rates will be in the next few months or years.

You are argumentative, immature and ungrateful.

...formally known as a Bridezilla. Refrain from temper tantrums: yelling, cursing, threatening is not the way to get your vendors to respond the way you want. As much as it means to you, your wedding is not the only wedding that is happening. Your vendors have other clients too! You risk intentional damage, shoddy workmanship and service. By no means is this acceptable for a service or product you for which you have paid. But remember, vendors belong to a tight wedding network. You dont want the photographer that youve been drooling over to turn your business away because he has heard about your unpredictable and rude behaviour.

Youre a pushover.

If you ask for a proposal from a vendor within your price range and instead, you get something that equals the national deficit: Houston, we have a problem. You want to work with a vendor who not only possesses creative genius but is also willing to work within your budget. If your vendor refuses to meet you at your level or makes you feel inferior for even asking, thank them for their time and exit stage left. Remember, this is your wedding, and you hold the checkbook. While they have the professional experience to meet your needs, you hold the purse. You know your financial limits. Dont sign a contract without a clue as to how you will pay for your service or product. Who wants to start a marriage in debt? When you cave easily, you leave yourself open for future pressure tactics and manipulation. This may be the only wedding you will ever plan so be smart!

Dont get scammed!

These examples are not to say that all vendors are bad, or vendors who do use these tactics are shady. The key is to get you in tune with the cues that could leave you open for misinterpretation. This may be the only wedding you will ever plan so be smart! Surround yourself with great vendors and do your research. Ask someone to look over your contracts your wedding planner will be able to decipher which clauses will protect you and which could be to your detriment. Always take someone with you on vendor visits: your wedding planner, your mother, your maid of honor, etc. They may catch a detail that you may have missed which might be crucial to your decision-making process.

All in all, enjoy yourself! Planning your wedding should be fun and stress-free.

Terrica Skaggs is the principal wedding consultant for Once Upon Your Wedding. With a background in fashion, beauty and business, She travels all over to provide happily ever afters for brides and grooms.